For Peace's Sake
I write this with hands that are clammy and cold, a heart raw and heavy, a face stained with tears. I am outraged. Frustrated. Sad. Embarrassed. Horrified. I write this to process my own thoughts and feelings. I write this because right now, I don’t know what else to do.
I met Zerina during my sophomore year at Syracuse University. it was the type of friendship that starts out slow and unsure, but grows to a strength that is nearly unmatchable. we have experienced the other's humor and solemnity, compassion and callousness, toothy grins and desperate tears. grey and sun. fight and flight. she has shaped me in a way that is tough to describe, because there is no exact moment, no isolated experience, no specific words shared that led me to the much better person that I am as I write this. it has been vastly cumulative.
Zerina’s impact on me has gone far beyond religious and cultural education. she has also taught me a lot about feminism and basic human compassion; things that are now painfully obvious (but isn’t that how growth works). how some jokes need to be left unsaid. how the word “hoe” is nothing more than a control mechanism, created by the ever-fragile male ego. how women need not tear each other down, but instead rise above together, stronger. she has made me take such issues much more seriously, and has very discreetly made me realize that such vulgarities are not a harmless way to get the room laughing-- they are hugely problematic in that they are feeding a larger societal problem. this seems like a digression, but my point is that any human relationship has potential to create a really important, enlightening experience, especially when each person involved has grown up in much different circumstances. to improve each other on a level that two people of the same upbringing might not be able to reach because of a lacking diversity.
I learned early on in our friendship how Zerina came to America-- her family of 4 (little brother Adelin was later born here) were immigrants from Bosnia during the Yugoslav Wars (Serbians against Muslims), placed in Utica, New York. she was 7. compared to my upbringing in Brunswick, Maine, I had no idea how to understand. I still don’t.
enter today’s Syrian Refugee headlines. my brain processed all of it very egocentrically. I imagined Zerina’s family never having the opportunity to get to Utica, out of harm’s way. I imagined my life without her, my character without her, my worldview without her. without all of the friends I have met through her. what was left was a huge, gaping hole. border control, especially in our current circumstances, is leaving huge, gaping holes.
and now trump (not going to capitalize his name, as I believe he is neither correct nor important). imagine (if you are currently not) being personally attacked by a front-running presidential candidate. trump was asked at a New Hampshire town hall meeting how to “get rid of our Muslim population” and he said nothing combative. he’s still going on about this wall he wants to build, shielding America from the Mexican “rapists” and the Muslim “terrorists”. the claim that America will turn into Nazi Germany under trump’s potential leadership contains an accuracy that makes me shake. we have all heard that history repeats itself, but how can we let something so disastrous and ugly back onto the horizon? it doesn’t make any sense. why are we not doing more to protect our friends from this unwarranted hatred? why does trump have such a following? is it about money? is that where we're at?
it is human nature to be afraid of what we don’t understand. fear leads to aggression. think about how dangerous it would be to whitewash and christianize an entire country. afraid of every other color, every other background, every other belief. taking away every opportunity of exposure, and thus of learning. imagine how violent we would become. again, consult your history books.
I am terrified for what the future brings if Bernie or Hillary aren’t in office. I am terrified of how many people from my hometown I’ve seen on Facebook, prancing around in their ignorance. I am terrified for a world in which someone like me, never gets to have someone like Z.
